to be known and loved
an empowering case for caring what (certain) people think and building your confidence through self-interrogation.
But before we get into the newsletter I wanted to highlight a new podcast interview I’ve just released!
‘I Need A Battle’ is a creative and ambitious visual album project being co-directed and produced by Neil MacLeod and Oscar Keys - they are crowdfunding to make the project sustainable for all involved so if you would like to support great art then please head to their Boosted campaign and donate!
an empowering case for caring what people think
I really think it may be impossible for any of us to truly ‘not care what anybody thinks’.
Humans are social animals and we evolved cultural systems to grow group size with tools like language, myths and gossip. We had to pay attention to what others thought in order to survive - we haven’t transcended those roots just because we have iPhones and a One Piece live action series now.
You may not be able to control needing a tribe but you can control who’s in it.
As i’m fond of saying to cafe owners who have hired me and are questioning whether Bring Me The Horizon is appropriate music for 8am (spoiler: it is) I say:
“you cant know who your people are, until you know who isn’t'“
If we’re wired to care about what people think then it makes sense to lean in and carefully curate exactly who we care about. We all know you can’t please everyone but do we really practice that?
This is my favourite song right now - UK band Chartreuse with a languid, menacing and meticulous alt-folk tune promising a spicy debut album to come.
be a magnet - polarise.
we are social magnets that work extremely well at attracting (and repelling) others.
There is nothing less effective than a magnet thats lost its charge. This is the person that wants to be liked, by everyone.
When you make yourself blander and safer, you strip away anything that could upset or endanger your likability, you also strip yourself of anything that could excite or inspire.
Polarisation. In many ways to attract is to repel. You have to accept one to have the other. In order to connect in a real way, with friends, an audience or whatever, you need to risk turning them off - there’s no other way.
Im still updating this weekly with great new music - have you been checking it out? Just follow and keep up!
it’s important to remember that you get back what you put out into the world.
Consider carefully your actions and opinions, interrogate yourself and your beliefs before sharing them because if you project something negative (by your own judgement) even unintentionally, you’ll start to find yourself surrounded by people acting out those same things.
Basically, dicks attract dicks. Empowerement and self-belief doesn’t just come through hot takes but through self-reflection and authenticity.
Finding out who you really are is the first step towards finding yourself surrounded by others like you.
Two excellent guitar records spewed forth from Aotearoa this past week or so - Office Dog and their blistering, cold and rhythmic ‘Spiel’ & Ryan Fishermans ‘Country EMO’ - a scuzzy alt-country affair with more hooks than we deserve.
the music industry is a social industry - ryan brand
There are all types in every industry and sometimes you have to get along to go along - the music industry is no different.
Unfortunately, if you want to go the super pop, mass appeal, industry baby direction then you’re going to be scrapping for fewer opportunities and this may put you at the mercy of unlikeable people. What you have to decide is whether the opportunity is worth their stench.
Desperation (without intention) to be liked creates a confused haze and makes you grasp for every opportunity offered. The more intentional and self-aware you get, the more you can evaluate externally, creating clarity for yourself and others who are on the same journey.
Developing a strong sense of your own values and taste will equip you with the skills to properly evaluate opportunities and their associated risks & rewards.
The self-interrogation that leads to your confidence also allows you to clearly identity the way forward on your journey. You’ll be able to stomach certain personalities if they are a part of something really important to you.
Being a magnet - being polarising in a social industry like the creative arts means you will start to attract more and more artists and industry who naturally think as you do - no matter how many people don’t.
Not caring what people think is not only impossible, it’s cringe. It also opens the door to apathy and nihilism. Choosing who to care about and then caring with your whole being is positive, empowering and brave.
Be brave!
A great conversation about an interesting and exceptional new album from Mr James Blake ft Brain Eno.
afterword: your own faustian bargain
An incredible amount of people responded to my instagram question yesterday about their anxiety of being blacklisted, shunned or shut out of the industry if they are not ‘liked’. They feared losing work, losing gig offers, losing opportunities.
Almost everyone agreed that being ‘liked’ influences your ability to even get funded by NZ On Air, NZ Music Commission etc.
We often talk about a culture of cover-ups, in-groups and hidden harm in the industry - this is how it starts. With an unspoken pressure to conform as the ticket for entry - an all-consuming soft power of control pressuring people to stay in line to keep getting opportunities.
Have a really hard think about your place in that system - one that sustains and perpetuates itself based on everyone ‘playing ball’ to stay in the game.
